The big move

It's been a funny year. The start of 2013 seemed to go really quickly. In October 2012, my husband Ryan and I flew to Australia for my Dad's 60th birthday. While we were there Ryan had an interview with the Brisbane branch of the firm that he works with in the UK. I had been made redundant for the 3rd time in September 2012 and we had decided that enough was enough and we needed a change. So that was the start of it.

Now,  a year on, we are living in Australia with my parents in a small suburb outside of Brisbane and I am 24 weeks pregnant with our first baby. What a difference a year makes!

It seemed to all happen really quickly after we finally got the go ahead on Ryan's transfer to the Brisbane office in March. We were trying desperately to work it around our best friends' wedding at the end of July for which I was the Chief Bridesmaid and Ryan the best man. But everyone eventually agreed that Ryan could start in the Brisbane office at the beginning of August. Saying our goodbyes was hard, especially with the wedding so close to when we were leaving, but it was made easier by the fact that we would be greeted by my parents when we finally got the the 'other side'.

We've been here for over 3 months now and it's not been as plain sailing as we'd have hoped. For me anyway... Ryan is pretty relaxed in most situations and has a very level head. Me, not so much. Ryan started his new job almost as soon as we got here so he's had that to focus on. I haven't been able to get much work, being almost 3 months pregnant when we got here and only getting bigger, no one really wants to employ a pregnant woman! So I've been temping on and off and worrying about our money situation in my spare time ;)

It's been tricky trying to learn to live with other people again as well. We bought our own house 6 years ago so have learnt our own routines and ways of living and found our own style etc etc. It's been tough trying to undo some of that even when everyone is being as accommodating as they can. And I know that Mum and Dad have struggled with that too. But we're getting there now. Now we just have to wait for the baby to add a whole other dynamic to the mix!

Learning to live without my friends around me has also been really difficult. With my parents living on the other side of the world, I really relied on my friends for support back in the UK. I wouldn't say I have loads of friends but the friends I do have, I keep very close to me. So this has been hard. It's also been difficult making new friends in a new country especially as I don't have a regular job. 

But I'm also grateful for the things that moving to Australia has given us. For starters, I'm grateful that Ryan is so much more relaxed here (so far). I'm almost nervous to think that it will continue because back in the UK he was completely overworked. I hope that it stays this way and he can continue to shine doing what he does... I'm grateful for being able to rebuild my relationship with my parents, especially my Mum who has had it tough from me sometimes, I know that now... I'm grateful that money doesn't seem to be as much of an issue here and that we are saving by living with Mum and Dad. Had we been in the UK I'm not sure how we'd have coped once I stopped working... I'm grateful that we've been given an opportunity to live in a different part of the world and experience a different way of life. We've never travelled so this is our chance!

What I'm most grateful for at the moment is our baby. Her kicks that I feel so often every day remind me that I will never be alone again, however lonely I'm feeling at any point in time. I will always have her to focus on and I'm having a great time planning out her nursery and buying her little dresses! I desperately want to find my creativity again and I think she is the catalyst to do that. I have already bought her cot and painted it up, started crocheting a blanket, ordered a mobile pattern that I found on Etsy, made a picture for her wall and decided to design her cot furnishings! I can't wait to meet her in March and begin doing the most important job of my life.

Beyoncé

'What would Beyoncé do?' That's my new mantra... After seeing her perform at the O2 on Sunday 5th May and after watching her documentary 'Life is but a Dream' on BBC1, I don't think I've ever been more inspired by a single human being. I feel a bit stupid saying that about a pop star, but I'm afraid it's true. She oozes confidence, power, femininity, independence, integrity, groundedness, the list is endless... And it makes me want to ooze all those things too. In fact while I was standing there watching her on that stage, singing and dancing away with all that talent like it was the easiest thing in the world, I believed that from that moment on, I would be all those things. That somehow she was channelling all of those things into me and that I was changed forever! No longer the self conscious, overweight, unambitious 28 year old that I believe myself to be, but a new improved me, with the will power to lose some weight, believe in myself and follow my dreams! Unfortunately it didn't quite work like that and after a few good nights sleep, the adrenaline wore off and I was back to regular old Nicola Storey. But it's definitely made me more aware of the lack of belief I have in myself and a want to change and be strong and independant and successful. And I will! Thank you Beyoncé!

 

Organising

Are you an organiser? I'm not. Usually. More recently I have been trying to be more self aware, more in the moment, more conscious. And I've found that if I'm more organised about things then it helps. Or is it that because I'm more self aware right now, I am more organised? What came first the chicken or the egg... I really can't tell! But either way, I am both at the moment. I'm making the bed every morning. Clearing up the kitchen after my dinner. Writing things in my diary. Folding the clothes off the dryer. (You'll all think I live in a sty!) I find it makes me happier. More content and less confused and stressed out and fuzzy. It's nice. I wish it was natural for me... Maybe if I train myself hard enough I can make it natural! Learn to be organised. I think if I feel more organised about daily life then I'll have more time to fit in fun stuff too and not feel guilty. I'd like to start a dance class, go on a sewing course, make those dress patterns up, paint my new kitchen dresser. I like making lists. It makes me feel organised...

Sunday nights

I remember Sunday nights when I was at school were the worst! As soon as I heard the music to Heartbeat, I knew I was in trouble if I hadn't done my homework! Lol! That going back to school feeling was horrible... I have had the same feeling in my adult life too when I've been in jobs I didn't really like. I'm lucky that at the moment I'm doing a job I quite enjoy, or at least I have nothing to worry about with it!

Usually I sit and watch TV on a Sunday night but tonight I thought I would take the opportunity while my husband is away to have some me time! So here is what I've been up to! Nails, magazines, journal, diary, dress patterns and pussy cats to keep my company. Lush
:-) x

Making...

I ordered these dress patterns on Wednesday as I had seen them on By Hand London's Facebook page and thought they looked fun! I haven't made any clothes for years and usually make cushions and homey stuff and usually for other people, so I've found that it's becoming less of a hobby and more of a chore. So I thought I'd give garments a go again!

 

I bought them from one of my favourite shops in London, Ray Stitch. It's got loads of great fabrics and you can sit and have tea and cake if you fancy it too! They also do lots of workshops which I would love to go on if I lived in London. Walking round a haberdashery is my idea of bliss... I think I'll go to my local one in Ely tomorrow. It's a lot more old fashioned than Ray Stitch but it has everything you could possibly need!

 

I remember being interested in sewing form an early age... My mum used to make lots of her own clothes and then lots of mine when I came along! I remember a little red coat which she made out of something that she didn't wear any more. I also remember a floppy hat stage and a really garish waistcoat from the nineties (think MC Hammer style...!) The first thing I remember making was a cushion for my Dad, it must have been his birthday or something... I made it from red velvet  and appliqued the word 'Daddy' across the front in satin gold lettering. Cute hey?! The first garment I made was a pair of trousers for a school project. They weren't the most flettering fit but I managed to pass! I also made my prom dress for my final GCSE Textiles piece out of purple two tone silk dupion and a matching irridescent stole... very ealry noughties!

 

More recently my best friend and I have made my bridesmaid skirt for her wedding. The first one we mocked up was a complete disaster as we had read the instructions wrong and not cut enough fabric... but the second one was great! Now we just need to make 6 more... The skirt is called 'Carrie' and it's from Lisa Comfort's book 'Sew Over It'. Here's a pic of our attempt... not bad hey?! (Please excuse the cheesey grin and the fact that I'm standing in the cat bed...)

 

 

We were pretty pleased with the result so hopefully my next garment will be a success too... Fingers crossed!!

Being independant

My husband has flown off to America today for a business trip. He'll be away for 10 days :( I feel awful for moaning about it... when I posted it on Facebook this morning, my friend reminded me that her husband has been in Afghanistan for 5 months. And some husbands never come home. I know I am so lucky...

Ryan and I have been a couple since we were 16... we are now 28. That makes me feel old!! So we've kinda grown up together. We've been through all sorts; college, uni, moving out of home, parents moving away or abroad, death, money troubles, marriage and so on a so forth... and we've always been there for each other... and I've realised recently that I really depend on him. Like, really! I have pretty low self esteem so I don't trust my own judgement a lot and I rely on him to affirm any decisions I've made, or anything I've written, or anything I've crafted, just to make sure it is OK and I'm not being stupid. And I also struggle with my own company. I'm not very good at being on my own. So the next 2 weekends are going to be a task! This is one of my favourite photos of him...

My best friend brought me a book called 'this i know: notes on unravelling the heart' by Susannah Conway for Christmas 2012. I hesitated to read it at first as she told me I would cry... and when I cry, I CRY! So it sat beside my bed for a few months until one day I succumbed to it's stares and opened it up. I was hooked from the word go. Susannah reveals all about her journey through grief after the sudden passing of her beloved partner, something that I can't even begin to comprehend. But not only does she reveal all about her grief, with every word, she seemed to heal my wounds too. It was like she was talking to me directly, like she knew how I was feeling about my life and had decided that if she told me her story, that it would help me too. I'm not grieving for a lost one, but still everything she talked about I could relate to in some way. And it helped me. She talked about being in your own company a lot in the book. It helped me to realise why I don't like spending time on my own which in turn will help me to learn to enjoy my own company some day... I'm already better at it but this weekend will be the real test.

I'm now enrolled on one of Susannah's E-Courses, Unravelling: Ways of Seeing Myself. If you read the book and love it, then you will love the course! In fact they all look great so I hope to do another one after this. It's an eight week course and only a week and a half in I am already feeling so much more positive and confident. And it's given me the courage to start this blog - and I didn't even get hubs to check it before I've posted it :)

Love x

My first blog...

So.... Hi! I'm new to blogging... I started one a while back but never really got to grips with it... so I'm giving it another go. I guess I thought I had to 'niche' my blogs and I wasn't sure what to write about. So I'm just going to write about whatever I am thinking about on any given day... what I'm loving, whether it be craft, fashion, food, music, anything. And maybe some of it will be interesting. Or maybe it won't. But you can only try, right?! Anyway, I've started now so hopefully I will be brave enough to continue... Love. x